A Man Needs Cooling

from A Man Needs Cooling by The Offtopics

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Record/Vinyl + Digital Album
This is really the best way to enjoy "A Man Needs Cooling". This exquisite, limited edition 7 inch 45 rpm record cover depicts the third episode in the ongoing adventures of Frank and Donna as they struggle up Sydney Rd. Fantastically detailed artwork from Melanie Miles of Hybrid design is worth the cost of postage alone!

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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Polash From The Garden, The Offtopics Live At Studio 5, The Offtopics - "Back on the Zine" EP, A Man Needs Cooling, Funky Grandma, Red Eye Jane, Sunrise in Richmond, and Sunrise in Richmond 7" Vinyl. , and , .

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about

From the pathos less traveled to the bathos room, The Offtopics, present a romp through self-inflicted embarrassment. Like the man said, we're bringing awkwardly sexy back. Our erstwhile hero finds himself in close proximity to the object of his desire however, every time she looks vaguely in his direction he is overcome with nerves. Only a long, cool drink can quell his rising anxiety. In the short term it works but, alas! When the moment comes to engage with her he is overcome by a bulging bladder of epic proportions. Should he risk a dash to the bathroom knowing full well that he may never see her again? Or should he stay... and risk far more?

Ah... we've all been there.

lyrics

A Man Needs Cooling (Girl)

(Slow sexy spoken intro)
Ebmaj7 Bbmaj7 repeat
Hey girl.
It’s time to be honest.
It’s too late for anything else.
The way you’ve walked over to me…
I can believe
That you like what you see.
And it’s not that I feel blase
But I have a very VERY pressing matter to take away.
Hey HEY

Verse section
Ebmaj7 Bbmaj7 F Gm7 Bb
Girl… I’ve been looking at you from across the room
Ebmaj7 Bbmaj7 F Gm7 Bb
From the corner of my eye so I wouldn’t look crude
Ebmaj7 Bbmaj7 F Gm7 Bb
But when you looked at me I got a little bit nervous.
Ebmaj7 Bbmaj7
Girl… When a man likes what he sees his temperature climbs a hundred degrees

F Gm7 Bb Ebmaj7
He needs coolin

Girl… I was breaking out in a sweat I just had to get my throat wet
I needed water to quench the fires you lit in me.

I am burning.

Girl… When you looked away I got me a two gallon jar and I drank it all down.
And I believe it got steamy

Oh So Steamy

Girl…. Now you’re approaching me as I’m turning to flee. There’s a man I have to see about a dog

In the men’s room.

(Pre-chorus)
Ebmaj7
Girl… There’s a question in your eye. What’s up with this guy?
Bbmaj7 (last chord comp x 5)
What is he doing?

Chorus
No chord Eb Bb
I’m trying to be cool while my bladder is full
Bb Eb Bb
I’m jiggling my thighs while meeting your eyes
Bb Eb F
It’s a hop to the left a slide to the right
Ab Bb
Like I’m dancing I’m dancing I’m dancing Alright!

Bridge
Ab Bb
Mmmmm…. This queue ain’t getting no shorter.
Ab Bb
Oooohhh….. Why did I drink so much water?
Ab Bb
Ahhhhhh…. I got to keep it nice.
Ab Bb
Ooooohhh… I got to hold it tight! (or you’ll leave)

Chorus x 2 as outro to end.
I’m trying to be cool
While my bladder is full
I’m jiggling my thighs
While meeting your eyes
It’s a hop to the left
A slide to the right
Like I’m dancing I’m dancing I’m dancing Alright!

I’m trying to be cool
While my bladder is full
I’m jiggling my thighs
While meeting your eyes
It’s a hop to the left
A slide to the right
Like I’m dancing I’m dancing I’m dancing Alright!

credits

from A Man Needs Cooling, released July 12, 2018
Polash Larsen: Guitars, Lead vocals
Mark Bretherton: Keyboards, Backing vocals
Linc Yow Yeh: Drums, Backing Vocals
Tim Webb: Bass, Percussion
Omid Shayan: Saxophones
Howard Norsetter: Trumpet, Vibraslap

license

about

The Offtopics Melbourne, Australia

From Bourbon Street in New Orleans to Memphis and Jamaica via the bars of Brunswick, The Offtopics deliver infectious songs that will make you tap your feet and bring a smile to your face. Fronted by funk dynamo Polash Larsen, these are some of Melbourne’s most talented musicians working their basses off to show you a good time. ... more